I was sure that she was somehow aware of what had become of me, and was eyeing me with wary suspicion. It’s a little like I imagine death to be like, minus the texting.Įmboldened by my success at manipulating my phone, I slunk downstairs and confronted my cat.
It was simply a state of being in this plane I’d been shunted into, or rather not being. For me - if I actually experienced it or something like it - it was neither. Depending on who you ask, ego death can refer to either a profound transcendence of the self or a horrific rending of identity. My head was swimming, but I was lucid enough to text “Merritt can have little a ego death, as a treat” to my group chat. Stumbling forward, I ended up face down on my living room rug. In that state, though, the psychological necessity of travel overrode the knowledge that maneuvering while heavily sedated was probably a bad idea. It did push me to rise to my feet and attempt to walk down my apartment’s hallway, which I don’t recommend.
#Warhammer 40k space marine full
I started to wonder, when the full weight of the drug hit me, whether I had permanently destroyed my brain and would be stuck in a state of physical incompetence and mental confusion forever. Your surroundings remain more or less the same, but become shadows of the real thing. Rather, high enough doses - but not high enough to cause complete sedation - catapult you into a cold echo of our universe. It can cause hallucinations, but doesn’t produce the color patterns and sounds we popularly associate with hallucinogens. Ketamine isn’t a psychedelic like LSD or mushrooms. The dose I had taken, however, stretched that distance into infinity. At lower dose, ketamine vibrates you ever to slightly out of your skin, placing a relaxing centimeter or so of detachment between you and reality. What followed was not quite the dead-to-the-world k-hole experience so many describe, but rather an unsettling trip into a world a few degrees off from our own. That reminds me - some time ago I took what I considered to be a hero’s portion of the dissociative drug ketamine. Whether it’s because you read a forbidden text, or got too horny, or were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, you’re getting dragged to space hell. Except sometimes the barrier between realities parts. For the most part, the denizens of the Warp can’t get into the material plane to torment mankind. See, demons are very real in Warhammer 40K. They reside in a kind of parallel universe called The Warp, a place where the laws of physics have long since been run out of town by gibbering horrors and salacious devils. That is, of course, if the Warp doesn’t get them first. In the 40K world, the average citizen is liable to be devoured by an insectoid alien, taken as a slave by BDSM space elves, or executed for committing heresy in one of innumerable ways. It’s not for nothing that the term “grimdark” has become synonymous with the franchise. Borrowing liberally from Dune, Alien, and a plethora of other sci-fi sources, the 40K world is a bleak one. Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine is a 2011 action game in which the player takes on the role of one of the titular marines - genetically-enhanced supermen fighting for the Imperium of Man in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium.
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